| Dimestore Diamond |
[09/06/09 - 9:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
Shines like the real thing, real thing, real thing.
Today has been a big day for me as far as revelations go. I've learned a lot about myself and I've learned a lot about others.
1. There are some people that you will fight for to have in your life. They are worth it - make up with that person you miss.
2. There are some people that you will not fight for.
3. Not everyone is kind.
4. I don't know what I want to do with my life. There are too many possibilities; too many choices I can make that will lead me to a certain point and I am terrified of not choosing the right path.
5. I want to be Tomb Raider.
That's all - it may not seem like a lot, but it feels overwhelming at the moment. I want to sit in my bed and collapse in on myself and be as small as possible and just exist, suspended in time. No pressure to be anything.
|
|
| True Love |
[06/11/09 - 11:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
Today I would like to share a touching story of true love and the lengths to which a person will go to attain it.
Our story begins in L5P (as so many good stories do) on a fine Wednesday in June. I was shopping around my favorite hipster hangout, intending to spend as little as possible, and also taking my AMAZING 1975 Schwinn Suburban into Outback Bikes for a tune-up. I was with a friend and, as neither of us had work, we decided to take our time and peruse the thrifty and ever trendy Rag O' Rama. That store is huge, and filled with curios from ever fashion era. Gems can be found, but it takes a lot of looking and dedication. On this particular occasion we were shopping for cute things and dresses to wear to the fast-approaching Athfest at the end of June. We like to make fashion statements. Sooo, we're shopping around and I find a Fabulous little black dress (tags still on and only 14.50 - what a steal) and a cute strapless babydoll top with pink neon skulls, heart buttons, and ruffles. Too cute. And then, as I was casually looking over the vintage men's shirts, I espied a pair of yellow pumps complete with and ankle strap. They beckoned me closer, called to me. I mean, these shoes were practically screaming for me to take them home. I carefully took them down and asked for a 10. For the record, my feet are not that huge - these shoes must run freakishly small. The sales lady (who was absolutely adorable with her septum piercing and whatnot [fingers crossed that it'll look that good on me]) brings me the shoes in my size and I try them on (despite my protesting toes) and THEY ARE THE CUTEST SHOES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND OMFG THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FREAKING GAZELLE (until I try to walk in them, that is). I check the price, knowing that this all-to-perfect scene must end. They're 24.50 - not too bad, but more than I want to pay, and my practical sense is winning over at this point, urging me to buy the dress and top which, while not as cute, certainly don't cause me pain. So I leave, sad and dejected.
I get home, still a little glum because I didn't adopt the heels, and bring in the mail. There is a suspicious looking envelope in the stack, addressed to me. I open it, praying that it's not anthrax or a bomb. Turns out, it's a check from the government for $22. It clicked. I would go back to the store and buy the shoes the next Tuesday when my father was supposed to help me gather my bike w/ his truck. It's perfect. I go to bed feeling happy and secure in the knowledge that those shoes will be mine.
The next morning I call the store and ask them to hold an item for me. "We actually don't do hold," the sales person informs me. You don't do holds? How in the eff do you work in retail and not do holds?! I need those shoes. I must have them! I start to panic. "But I won't be able to make it in till next Tuesday!" I'm pleading, desperate. "Sorry," she says, totally unsympathetic. So I hang up and leave for work, plotting. I know I have to contact my partner in crime, the one person who may understand why I MUST HAVE THE SHOES - Stephanie (coincidentally, the mate I was shopping with when I saw them). She's up for adventure, so we head out to L5P for the second day in a row - this time on a mission. I stop at the bank, and barring a near accident with the d-bag in front of me as we're pulling in, I deposit the money without incident. We then carry on. The sky is menacingly black and it looks like it's about to monsoon. And what do you know, as soon as we're within sight of Little 5, the sky opens up. We're talking torrential downpour. No joke. So we park (a little far away, but it's easier than trying to drive in the rain) and plan to haul ass to the store on the other side of "town". We get out and run and the water is already up to our ankles, but we keep going. The cars passing us splash waterfalls onto the sidewalk. We're soaked within 30 seconds, but we keep running. At some point a guy sticks his head out from under a bar awning and shouts "Why couldn't you have worn a white shirt?!" (I was wearing a white skirt at the time). I laugh and keep running. All I can see in my mind are those sunny shoes. Those beautiful little darlings that make my legs go for miles. We reach the store (after dashing in front of a few moving vehicles...pedestrians always have the right of way, especially in hurricane weather) and run inside, dripping. Literally, dripping. We look like we've just spent several hours in a pool, fully clothed. We perform mascara checks and proceed to slosh our way to the back where we ask another sales lady (not the same cute one) about the shoes. "Anything we have is on the floor - nothing's in back," she replies, most unhelpfully. I cringe - what if some pervert stole my babies while I was away?! I slosh over to where their brothers and sisters are nestled neatly in their boxes and scan. Please 10, c'mon 10, oh lord after everything we've been through for these shoes i hope there is at least one 10 left......... YES!!!! I grab them, clutch the box to my soaking chest, and plod to the register, leaving puddles in my wake.
We leave the store triumphant. Oh yeah, and it's sunny now.
P.S. In order to avoid ruining the leather in my car, we took our pants off and covered the passenger seat with a British flag we found in the trunk of my car. My seat is stylishly covered with Hello Kitty. Driving with no pants is oddly liberating until you pull up next to a creeper in a truck. Or a cop.
|
|
| Give 'Em Hell, Kid |
[12/22/08 - 10:36pm] |
|
Ok, so I suck at keeping promises. I'm a natural born liar, what can I say?
However, I am at least updating. Sort of.
Meg and I went shopping today - Forum and downtown Norcross. We got presents for the dads and ourselves. :) We also bought things for ourselves at the mall yesterday. Tis the season to be greedy, eh? Tomorrow we're going up to Athens with Emily to have a girls day and shop. More for ourselves. And possibly get matching tattoos. Which would be AWESOME.
Things have been really great, and it's really nice to have a full house and get to see all of my family. Jack looks bigger and more grown up every time I see him and he is such a happy baby. He smiles and laughs out loud and is really attentive and curious abut everything. He's such a joy in my life. And, not to brag, but he loves me so much. Whenever he gets fussy all I have to do is pick him up and hold him and he's fine. Such a doll. <3
Time for bed now. Or, rather, time for some reading and then bed. We're getting up fairly early to pick up Emily and go to the other A-town.
|
|
|
[12/20/08 - 10:41pm] |
|
I suck big ones at this project. I promise an update tomorrow.
|
|
| (S)He goes into cathedrals and lies prostrate on the floor |
[12/16/08 - 4:54pm] |
Day 3 - The Day We Move Out for Break The Day I Come Home
I was all settled in for writing a nice long entry, but Dorothy just called and I am to meet her outside in 2 minutes. I will continue this later.
I'm home now. The drive was quick (probably because I was speeding...) and it's so nice to be back again.
I should be asleep right now. Or, at least wanting to be asleep. I am neither.
Kerry and I had a photoshoot today - just because.
|
|
| Please mum, may I have some more? |
[12/15/08 - 4:59pm] |
Day 2: The Day in which I have 2 Exams
I'm in the SLC right now (what else is new, eh?) studying for Spanish (the exam starts at 7 and it's already 5 and the amout of studying I have done is apporximately none). I really am going to study now, but I wanted to post to make it at least seem like I'm putting off doing work. I'm sure to write more later - Dorothy and I are sleeping here tonight.
Alright, some time has passed in real life, but not really on here. I'm back at the SLC (studying for calculus this time). I was dreading tonight, but Kerry so kindly reminded me that it is, in fact, the last math test of my life. Unless I decide to go through with pre-med next year, in which case it will not be. But at least, it is the last math test I will be taking for a while.
I promise I have pictures to put up, I've just been here all day where I don't have access to my camera or my connector cord. So I'll post them tomorrow. I might even bless you all with a video or two. Exciting, I know.
Alright, so not that I'm bitching or anything, but I woke up at 7 this morning after going to bed some time after 2 (am). And I haven't slept since (except for a brief 20 minute nap that I actually took on the floor of the SLC). And I have my calc final at 8 am tomorrow, and I really feel like I'm not going to be getting much sleep tonight. Yay! :) But so worth it, because after that I get to go home and have vacation. Besides, all nighters can be fun, especially when there are other people around you in the same situation. Misery loves company, eh? AND I just realised that the dining hall will be open 24 hours today, so I can get free chow whenever I want! This is shaping up to be quite a nice looking night. WML, I'm sure.
|
|
| Worried about spam and ad-ware infecting your HP PC? |
[12/14/08 - 12:10pm] |
Post #1 of what I'm sure is going to be a post-filled day.
Day 1 - The Day Kerry's computer broke.
Right now I'm on hold with HP technical support. Kerry's computer had a massive spasm last night (early this morning) and completely died. When we tried to re-boot it, it declared that the hard drive did not exist and asked us to re-install the OS. Which wouldn't be a problem except that it was installed by the manufacturer and she doesn't have the emergency disk.
My desk as I'm on the phone/computer with HP:
Kerry and me while on hold. How long does this take?!: I only wish I could upload an audio file of the ridiculous recording that's been playing for the past 20 minutes through the speaker on my phone. Seriously, where do they find this music?
|
|
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury |
[12/13/08 - 7:49pm] |
|
There are so many things I could be doing to be productive right now. Studying for finals being the most important. But none of the things I should be doing are things I want to be doing. Hence the update.
I've decided I want to undertake a 365 days photo project where I take a picture for everyday of the year and post a little blurb about it/my day. This idea was totally stolen from Plush Mistress of flickr. Check her out, she's awesome. I think this will be a nice project for me that will a) allow me to see how I change throughout a year, and b) help people who I don't get to see everyday anymore stay closer (thatmeansyousarahmintz).
I've also been a vegetarian for the past week, and even though it started as kind of a "can-i-do-this" sort of thing, I think I'm going to stick with it. It's been fun so far, and I figure it can only be something healthy. Goodbye Jesus burgers (aka Big Buford from Checkers). Sing my life in colour.
Excerpt from The Love Song of J. Alfred Proofrock (by T.S. Elliot):
And indeed there will be time For the yellow smoke that slides along the street, Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; There will be time, there will be time To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet; There will be time to murder and create, And time for all the works and days of hands That lift and drop a question on your plate; Time for you and time for me, And time yet for a hundred indecisions, And for a hundred visions and revisions, Before the taking of a toast and tea.
* * *
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me. I have seen them riding seaward on the waves Combing the white hair of the waves blown back When the wind blows the water white and black. We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
I LOVE Elliot. Really, a lot. I also love you all, and I hope that you're all as happy as I am to be alive. I know, sometimes my joy is infuriating - I've learned to give up and love it, too. Time to order some food and "study" more!
|
|
| Brr...It's Cold in Here |
[12/12/08 - 10:53pm] |
I'm feeling pretty...er...well, I don't know how exactly to describe it. Good, I guess; hopeful about the future. A little dismal at the moment (vegging out on the couch and watching HP5 - Kerry's out somewhere, I don't know.
Christmas this year is going to be AMAZING. Our house will be full and it'll be good to see everyone again. I feel like so much has changed since we saw them last, but at the same time so much is the same.
I NEED to get a job.
I can't wait to have my own apartment/house. It'll be nice to not live under dorm rules and at least have my own room to go to when I want some alone time. Kerry and I are fine, but neither she nor I are used to having someone always there 24/7. Curse of the only children. Well, she isn't but both of her siblings have been moved out for quite some time now.
I really really really want a lip piercing. Like, really badly. And another tattoo. But these are things that I cannot do a) without money and b) because my mother would actually kill me. Well, maybe not about the tat, but certainly the lip ring.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to live as an outlaw, outside of the law. I mean, obviously it would be hard, but there would be so much freedom. As long as you could find people who were on your side to help you out with money and all.
I think I'm beginning to make no sense. Alright, for the sake of your sanity I'll go now and carry on with my online shopping and veg time.
|
|
|
[10/07/08 - 12:31pm] |
|
My life is so good. My life is so happy. It's the most fantastic feeling in the world to be in touch with everything and to know that the universe is boundless and infinite and that it is all there to be had and enjoyed and felt and tasted and discovered. I want everyone to see this and know this. I want to teach this feeling to the world.
|
|
|
[09/28/08 - 12:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
I know what an Irish Carbomb is. Too well.
I am confused about my feelings for Adam.
I'm unsure if I'm capable of loving someone.
|
|
| The Bitter Suite 3: Embrace |
[09/20/08 - 5:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
Livejournal has kindly informed me that it has been 24 weeks since I last updated my blog. I'll wager a good sum that no one else noticed.
So, who blogs in college? I do, I do! I mean, why the hell not, right? Just gives me one more thing to do during class.
Michael and I are out of love. Sort of. It's difficult when he's all the way at CMU and I'm here in Athens. Also, the fact that I'm almost positive a small part of him will always hate me is somewhat of a hindrance. We talk, though, and he's friendly. I just need him so badly in my life. I don't miss anyone else like I miss him. My twin is certainly absent from my life and that is a source of sadness for me. But I feel like even the little that we do talk is enough, and I'm very certain of our devotion to each other. I just want him so badly to just be here with me. Just so that I can look at him and have him and keep him as mine. Unfair.
You'll believe what you're led to believe.
In the hands of ghosts we're never responsible.
I quit smoking. And I'm done with it forever. Pot, cigs, everything. It's not good for me, and it's definitely something I can live without in my life.
I want Adam and his body.
Time for a snack picnic in the quad.
</3
|
|
| Don't Sink the Boat |
[04/01/08 - 7:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 energetic |
] |
I'm in a terribly happy mood right now.
I'm going to Michael's later...
|
|
| WARNING: contents under pressure |
[03/28/08 - 5:14pm] |
|
I am addicted to Michael like a drug. No, for reals, it's weird. And I really don't understand it at all. But he makes me feel so happy and relaxed and free. I don't feel those things a lot anymore; at least not genuinely. I want to be with him all of the time. Just be. It's perfect. We're perfect.
Saturday night is going to be fun b/c I will be free, but in another, less legal way. It's also one day closer to him coming home. Which means one day closer to letting go of my vices again. All of them except him, of course. But he's allowed.
Enough of this sentimental shit. Spring Break nears. PaRtY time! Fun time. Megan time!
|
|
| Back to Black |
[08/28/07 - 8:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
So, it's been a while since I've written. I mean, I do have a life other than livejournal. It mostly consists of facebook.
School is back in session. That's always fun. Actually, that wasn't a sarcastic comment. It's pretty much the only time that I get to see the people I don't make a concerted effort to hang out with otherwise. That seems redundant.
Despite my lifeless writing, I'm in a good mood. I just designed a Commedia dell'Arte mask for the character of Brighella, and I really like the way it turned out. I'll probably make it out of papier mache. I have no idea if i spelled that right, but I'm too lazy to check. But yea, I'm planning on getting help from some of my more visually artisitc friends and making the mask into something actually wearable (rather than just a sketch on a page...).
There's really nothing new to report (sadly). Maybe once I get back into the swing of blogging I'll be more intelligent with my entries.
|
|
|
[05/16/07 - 5:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
apathetic |
] |
Well I finished my AP language test today which means that I'm pretty much finished with english for the rest of the year. Thank god. As of tomorrow I'm officially finished with Cicchetti and I can't say I lament the separation. He's not awful, but I'm sure that my apathetic sentiments are reciprocated.
On a not-so-happy note, I got an 86 on my ToK oral presentation because a certain someone in my group did NOT uphold their end of the work and failed to put subtitles into the film. It just sucks because a good grade would have brought my average up a lot.
Ah well, school is over in less than a week for better or worse.
|
|
|
[05/11/07 - 5:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
The tiredness has finally caught up with me and has become more of a total and complete exhaustion. I have been beaten by IB and yet I find myself excited about going back for more next year. There's something twisted about the way my mind works.
There's something liberating about posting my life on livejournal. Something that makes me relieved when I'm done.
Apparently Mr. Weeks told his sophomore class that my IOC was the best one he had heard yet. That's rather exciting to me. It's nice to know that my good feelings were not unfounded.
I went to the library today and got The Prestige and Anthem. I actually haven't read anything by Ayn Rand yet, so I'm looking forward to the latter. Who knows, maybe I'll become a fan. It certainly seems like the kind of depressing oppression that I like reading about.
Is is still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
You know it will always just be me.
Let's get these teen hearts beating faster and faster!
or
There's a place in the dark where the animals go
You can take off you skin in the cannibal glow
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands Romeo
2 hours later...
Well I was rudely interrupted pleasantly surprised by a lovely knock at the door. Alex, of course. Just so you know, when the boy says that he'll be there a little before 7, expect him at 6. Hehehe, I love you!
So yeah, I much more cheery now. Prolly because of the fabulous stormy weather and the prospect of a cozy evening under the covers reading. Gosh I love books. And music. And art.
Which reminds me, I'm going to the Annie Lebowitz exhibit at the High Museum tomorrow. I'm so excited, I've wanted to see this exhibit for a long time. After that mum, gram, Ms. B, Kerry, Kristen and I are going to the Atlanta Fish Market for a mother's day lunch. Then I'm going to Casey's house to celebrate her birthday and bond. She's already 18!!!
Now then, I'm finished with technology for now and I'm going to tuck myself in and READ.
|
|
|
[05/10/07 - 8:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 devious |
] |
I can't lie, Alex's birthday party was pretty kick ass. Especially the waffles. And the dinosaur egg hunt. And the picture taking. And just the fact that I was there and planned it, etc.
I had my IOC today and it went really well (I think). Mr. Weeks is a really chill guy and the faces he made were ones of extreme approval, so I'm guessing that I didn't fail miserably. I can't wait to have him next year; I really think he's going to be one of the best teachers I've ever had. Or will have. Or whatever.
I'm making a list of books that need to be read this summer and already the list is too long. I'm hoping that next year's work load won't be quite so heavy and that I'll have time to read for pleasure during the school year. Doubtful, but I refuse to lose hope. Jordan (my hero) took me to this shady Mexican store and bought me a pack of cigs (that I was forced to give to the person who actually paid for them (who shall remain nameless)). I know that I shouldn't smoke, that it's bad for me, etc. But honestly, I can't get over my shallow addiction (that's not actually an addiction, I swear).
I want someone provacative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
Ah, this summer promises to be filled with good times and relaxation. I really am looking forward to it. Only 14 more days till freedom (including weekends)!!!
P.S. I found out today that I've been flirting (heavily and reciprocated) with a boy who has a girlfriend. This isn't actually out of the ordinary for me, but for some reason I feel kind of guilty. Maybe becuase he initiated it and though I don't actually plan on having a relationship or anything (what can I say, I like the attention) I don't plan on stopping. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. But by god, I'm a bad person who has seriously good fun!
Tat it up!
|
|
|
[05/09/07 - 3:08pm] |
Well, one more day of junior year gone. I'm starting to really get excited about summer, now that it's so close and actually within my grasp. I have a long list of books that need reading and I can't wait to settle down in my hammock and indulge myself. And of course, I'll be celebrating my 17th year of birth right before the final HP comes out. I'm visiting the Megster for that and we're sure to get ourselves into plenty of trouble. Maybe sneaking out of the house to party with her friends? Who knows. She and I get up to all sorts of things we shouldn't. She was my first partner in crime and is still my best.
I have my one and only AP exam a week from today and tomorrow I finally get to enjoy the pleasure that is IOC. I'm kind of praying that it won't be too bad and that I get something I've actually read. That would really be nice.
My Peru box seemed to be a hit at school today and I honestly think it was one of the better ones from my class. Lolo made his out of cardboard and duct tape, even after I made a template and cut it out for him. He's a special little boy, but god does he make IB bearable. Him and Patrick. I could watch those two all day and not be bored. They're so weird together...
Well, I'm off to plan Alex's party. Actually, I think a nap is in order. Then I'll work on the party.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
